can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
