I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize