do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
