at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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