i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
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