Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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