well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
