WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
