Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
