Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
