We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
