So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize
