I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Randomize
