i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Randomize
