i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
