I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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