Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
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