Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
