Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
