I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
