How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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