I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
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