NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
