his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
