Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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