Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize
