# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Randomize
