Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
