Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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