Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
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