My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
