I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
