Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
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