I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
