No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
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