he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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