why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
They are going to name an STD after you.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I would ride that face into the sunset
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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