Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
