out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
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