this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
