its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
