:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Randomize
