and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
