Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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