I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
the night ended with taco bell and tears
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize
