ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Randomize
