Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
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I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
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