Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize
