Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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