just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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